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PastPoop7/12/2003-yahoo People Are Stupid.A few years ago, Barnyard and I graced beseen`s html encoded world of stupidity. We had no intention of chattin gabout chicks, how cool our sound systems were, or even to make friends. We were merely there to raise hell and piss people off anonymously. Needless to say, we became loved/hated legends. In fact we inadervetently and unintenioally made some cyber allies and even garnered a following. Even more recently the two of us and Mogled Monkey started shit in consumption junction`s porn webcam chat. For an excerpt of one of those nifty fights, go look in past poop and look for text wars. Shameless plug, yes, but I degress...Anyway, Beseen is gone now, but I found that instant messenger is equally effective. In fact, the tards and imbeciles I have discovered there are far more entertaining. Recently, I logged back on to Yahoo messenger and started pinging morons at random from the checkers chat from Yahoo games. Before I go further I need to explain a few things. My tactics changed per individual. During our Beseen days, I used a straightforward go for the jugular assault, or occasionally I`d use more subtle attacks, and sometimes I`d even use subtle uppercuts to shame and humiliate. Learning from this, I`ve devised a really nasty way to bug people. Mix up all the previous methods at once. Just like crank calls, the point of this useless pastime is not to say something stupid and move on. To be a true master of the art of heckling one must keep style, and duration in mind. The longer you keep an idiot on with you, the more likely they are to become wd-40 huffing addicts and liable to mutilate their genitals over your text based onslaughts. The following is an exchange I had with a 20 year old male from New Jersey. I could leave it there, but his profile said he was a literary intellectual specializing in contemporary literature. This meant to me he reads Sports Illustrated. He also claimed to be a business major. His pic looked like he stole it from a Chippendale\\\'s ad. Anyway, as you`ll see, this guy has the IQ of wet toast and had no clue for awhile I was shitting on him. His disclosures were also revealing. I am listed as flarschenleuger. He was..get this...BrainsBrawn. I chose him on the pomposity of his name alone. One more thing, I pinged him without asking, so he had no clue as to who I was. i also posted a pic of some GQ model on my profile just to fuck him up more. I also typed in all caps. Now on with the show.... flarschenleuger: HI! A/S/L!?!?!?!?! BrainsBrawn: 20/m/nj, you? flarschenleuger: 22/M/HOMO BrainsBrawn: homo? flarschenleuger: IT`S OUSIDE MILWAUKEE. BrainsBrawn: sounds cool. hey, nice pic. you look fit. flarschenleuger: YES, I KEEP FIT. I ALSO EAT ORGANICS THAT KEEP MY POOP SOLID. BrainsBrawn: lol flarschenleuger: IT\\\'S NOT FUNNY. DON\\\'T LAUGH. BrainsBrawn: okay sorry. so why did you message me? flarschenleuger: WELL, I SAW YOUR PROFILE AND IT MADE MY SEMINAL VESCILES TINGLE. BrainsBrawn: what`s that? flarschenleuger: IT\\\'S THE PAGE THAT SHOWS YOUR PIC AND STATS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART. MY BAD. BrainsBrawn: i am smart, i meant seminil vesicles. flarschenleuger: IT`S WHAT SENDS YOUR NUT SWIMMERS TO YOUR PROSTRATE FOR NUT BUTTERING AND EVENTUAL RELEASE. BrainsBrawn: okay. you gay? and could you turn off caps please? flarschenleuger: NO, I\\\'M NOT A BUTT SPELUNKER, AND I HAVE TEXT EMODULATION SYNDROME. I CANNOT CONTROL THE SIZE OF MY FONT. BrainsBrawn: what`s that? flarschenleuger: I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEARNDED AND STUFF? YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS. IT`S A SOCIAL ILLNESS. BrainsBrawn: oh okay. and yes, i am very smart. i`m in college. flarschenleuger: JOHN QUINCY ADAMS NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE. BrainsBrawn: why not? flarschenleuger: HE DIDN\\\'T GET HIS FINANCIAL AID PAPERS IN TIME. BrainsBrawn: oh. was he a friend of yours? flarschenleueger: NO. DO YOU LIKE HAMTARO? BrainsBrawn: isn`t that a cartoon? flarschenleuger: IT\\\'S LIKE ANIME BUT HAS SOME SERIOUSLY HOT FURRIES. BrainsBrawn: that`s cool. flarschenleuger: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? BrainsBrawn: i spend time researching modern lit, i\\\'m a connoseur. i also like to lift and chat online. flarschenleuger: THAT\\\'S SUPER. DO YOU KNOW YOU MISSPELLED KONNASIR? BrainsBrawn: lol no, i didn`t. what do you do for fun? flarschenleuger: I LIKE TO MASTURBATE INTO WINE GLASSES AND MAKE MARGARITAS. BrainsBrawn: oh my, too much info.. except for the margaritas. flarschenleuger: YOU DON\\\'T LIKE SPLOOGE BUT YOU LIKE SPLOOGE BASED MARGARITAS? BrainsBrawn: i can`t recall having one. flarschenleueger: THEY`RE TASTY. DO YOU LIKE FAITH NO MORE? BrainsBrawn: never heard of them. flarschenleuger: WHAT KIND OF LIT DO YOU READ? EVER HEARD OF HUBBARD? BrainsBrawn: you mean L. Ron? flarschenleuger: NO, I MEANT PRATCHETT. SORRY. TYPO. BrainsBrawn: i know L. Ron Hubbard, but not pratchett sorry. flarschenleuger: HE WRITES EROTIC STORIES FOR POPULAR SCIENCE. BrainsBrawn: who does? flarschenleuger: KURT VONNEGUT. BrainsBrawn: you lost me there. lol flarschenleuger: YOU HAVE EXCELLENT SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND GRAMMAR. YOU`RE SPELLING IS CONSISTENT TOO. BrainsBrawn: thank you. shall we play a game? flarschenleuger: I\\\'D RATHER NOT. CHECKERS CAUSES COLIC. BrainsBrawn: it does what? flarschenleuger: MY ABS ARE WELL OILED. BrainsBrawn: lol flarschenleuger: DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT GUYS? BrainsBrawn: i suppose all males do. freud says it`s normal. flarschenleuger: IT`S NOT. THINKING ABOUT GUYS IS HOMO, AND HOMOS ARE GAY. BrainsBrawn: i try not to judge. flarschenleuger: IS IT BAD I\\\'M LICKING THE SCREEN? BrainsBrawn: what are you looking at? flarschenleuger http://www.gruntplop.org BrainsBrawn: what is this? flarschenleuger: SOME CRAP SITE I FOUND, BUT THAT AGUILERA PIC IS HOT. SHE MAKES ME HOT. BrainsBrawn: it looks fake. the pic of her. flarschenleuger: IT\\\'S NOT. THE ADMINN TOLD ME SO. BrainsBrawn: you`re far too trusting. lol flarschenleuger: I HAVE A HARD ON. WANNA SEE? BrainsBrawn: we barely know each other, give it some time. flarschenleuger: SO YOU DO? BrainsBrawn: if you wish, but i usually learn more of the person before i exchange pictures. flarschenleuger: BUT IT\\\'S BIG AND JUICY. LIKE A BRATWURST. BrainsBrawn: mmmmmm.....okay then. flarschenleuger: OKAY, BUT FIRST, SO I MAKE SURE WE`RE CLEAR... BrainsBrawn: yes? flarschenleuger: YOU WANT TO SEE MY UNIT, CAUSE IT`D TURN YOU ON, AND YOU`RE CRUISING FOR COCK? BrainsBrawn: lol well since you put it that way....yeah. flarschenleuger: NEEP!!!!!! WRONG ANSWER CAPTAIN! BrainsBrawn: ? flarschenleuger: THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS CHAT AND YOUR PROFILE WILL BE POSTED ON GRUNTPLOP.ORG. BrainsBrawn: why? flarschenleuger: CAUSE I\\\'M LIKE A BURNING NIPPLE DISCHARGE. HOW`S YOUR THROBBER NOW? BrainsBrawn: you sick fucker! pretending to be bi! asshole! flarschenleuger: YEAH..TEEHEE. Following this, I was immediately blocked from pinging him. I also noticed his profile went down shortly thereafter. I\\\'m sure he`s none too happy about this being posted... this has been another edutainment service provided by.... -Insidious_T |
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